Thus have I heard:
The Buddha and his retinue of 50,000 bikkhus were in attendance at the Ball Park in the Fens. The venerable vendor approached, and taking the strap from his right shoulder bent low toward the Tathagata, saying, “O world honored one! Would you like a hot dog or perhaps a cold beer?”
The Buddha replied thusly: “The World honored one, the Tathagata consumes no flesh, nor does he imbibe in intoxicants. I will transcend the Mezzanine level so as to procure some French Fries, whose aroma is pleasing to the olfactory organ. If you have any further questions while I am away, please address them to the venerable Guanyin.”
“Oh thank you, Great Teacher of gods and men, I thank you.” At this point the Vendor bowed deeply and removed himself from the aisle so that He Who is Thus Gone could proceed unimpeded toward the refreshment stand.
At that point, the Bikkhu Carl Yazstremski appeared before the Great Bodhisattva Guanyin, and beseeched thus:
“O Great Bodhisattva, who hears the cries of the world! You surely have heard the cries of the crowd that the ground ball to shortstop induced great suffering and dissatisfaction. Pray thee, how may I placate their struggles so that none may suffer further?”
The Great Bodhisattva Guanyin, who practiced deeply the wisdom of the ages saw that all scoreboards were empty and was saved from all struggle and distress. The Great Bodhisattva then arose from the bleacher seat and addressed the bikkhu Carl Yazstremski thus:
“Carl Yazstremski! Bases loaded is not different from bases empty, bases empty is no different than bases loaded, cheers are no different from boos! Likewise, the same applies to that which the umpire calls out, calls, safe, calls strike, calls ball.
“Carl Yazstremski, all bases are marked with emptiness, runners do not appear or disappear, scores do not increase or decrease.
Therefore in bases empty, no cheers, no boos, signs,steals, umpiring. No strike, no ball, no slide, no catch, no run, no hit, no error, no line up and no realm of press conferences.
No second guess and also no extinction of second guess, no rookie, no old timer, and also no extinction of them.
No strike out, no first pitch, no base path, no coach’s sign, and also no scoring with nothing to score.
The battersattva depends on perfect swing and the mind is no hindrance. Without any hindrance no strikes exist. Far apart from every blown call, one dwells in the dugout.
In the three outs all pitchers depend on fast balls and attain three strikes and three outs. Therefore know that perfect game is the great transcendent ball game, is the great bright ball game, is the utmost ballgame, is the supreme ballgame, which is able to relieve all injuries and is safe not out.
So proclaim the perfect game mantra, proclaim the call that says,
Strike one, strike two, strike three, you’re out, batter up!.
Strike one, strike two, strike three, you’re out, batter up!.
Strike one, strike two, strike three, you’re out, batttttttter upppppp.
