Edsel Enlightenment

Back in the ancient days of leaded gasoline, there were a number of cars that elicited a raised eyebrow, a shake of the head, and the mutter of “What was Dad thinking?” when certain cars showed up in the family driveway. This reaction didn’t happen only in the United States, world-wide there were more models to weep about. For every East German Trabant or Soviet Lada, there were the American Pinto, Vega, Aires K, and maybe the tartest lemon on the lot, the Edsel. It didn’t belch smoke, it didn’t explode, it didn’t flip at the suggestion of a curve, it was just...an Edsel. The name Edsel has entered the lexicon as vehicular Kleenex, a generic term for a failed car first, and ever after, something that just didn’t work out the way it was planned. So far as transportation goes, it was a Lesser Vehicle.

The Mahāyāna (Great Vehicle) schools of Buddhism hold the Bodhisattva in great reverence. Historically, the Bodhisattva postpones entry into Nirvana for countless rebirths until all beings are saved; while the personal quest of becoming an Arhat so as to achieve nirvana and no further rebirths is paramount. The Edsel wasn’t even going to enter the stream, let alone provide some transportation to the other side of the river or Nirvana.

Ostensibly Zen, being Mahāyāna, would be up to its collective ears with Bodhisattvas, a downright a glut of Bodhisattvas. There’d be so many that it would be a Great Cosmic, “After you...No, after you...Oh no, no, no, I couldn’t possibly go first, after you.” What I’ve seen however, is that the Bodhisattva ideal is sometimes met with a collective “Meh,” rather than going through the gate and joining in the glut. Maybe it’s because it’s very easy to be exposed equally to traditional teachings as it is to Mahāyāna or Zen teachings, maybe it’s the lack of strict Zen teaching, or as likely a shotgun approach where there is no teacher at all to provide direction.

Lest you think this piece is denigrating any of the school’s thought of as Hinayana, I’m actually more concerned with Zennists/Mahayanists who deep down really only care about their own salvation/Enlightenment. We often focus too much on the shiny new Edsel of Enlightenment rather than the Bodhisattva Vow to save all beings. In Zen, Enlightenment is by and large an afterthought. There’s a lot of beings to be saved in “all,” and the assembly line of doing so can be a rather long one. Then someone comes along and says, “Oh by the way, there are no Edsels/beings to be built/saved, and no one to do the building/saving,” and that the assembly line has been an illusion all along. Then someone else says that Edsels are Mercedes.

“Sudden vs Gradual” or “Just Sitting” vs Koans vs Huatou practice happen every now and then in “Zen” discussions, but it’s it’s not unlikely that debating the Four Noble Truths and the Three Dharma Seals rather than some Zen-specific subjects come into play. In this Short Attention Span Theater era, sometimes we take what we can get, and hope a seed is planted, and that may serve some purpose, unlike the Lesser Vehicle, the Edsel. Every now and then something might come out skillfully, the teacher sensing the capacity of the student and teaching in a way that’s fitting for the student’s capacity to understand, unlike the Edsel, whose virtues virtually no one could understand. It may not be Perfect, but at least it gives the idea of what a teaching is.

The Edsel must have seemed like a really good idea at the time. Henry Ford even named the car after his son. But whatever it was, despite it not exploding or flipping over, and even having some innovative features, it failed within three years as an automobile line. It just didn’t match the needs of the car-buyer, and it wasn’t rolled out skillfully. There was a lot of hype, a lot of mystery, just awaiting a collective “Oooh” and “Ahhh,” in the way that talking about Enlightenment gets Oooh’ed and Ahhh’ed over.

All too often we’ll hear phrases like, “Before enlightenment, carry wood chop water, after enlightenment, carry wood, chop water.” Like Kleenex or Edsel, these are empty words, dead words (I even phrased them backwards, just to see if you were paying attention. In a mid-century version, it might have been “Before Enlightenment, go to work, sell no Edsels, after Enlightenment, go to work, sell no Edsels.”

Regardless, not settling for the Lesser Vehicle of Edsel Enlightenment, we work toward the Greater Vehicle of saving all beings. We let someone into our lane of traffic, even when they don’t signal beforehand. We don’t take up two spaces in the parking lot. We help the guy on the line who’s installing the brake drums, we make sure the lift doesn’t crash down on the guy installing the oil pan.

So is Enlightenment a Mercedes, an Edsel, both, or neither? Is it the mundane world, our assembly line of life is our daily work is daily work, it’s just what we do. whether we’re building Edsels or saving all beings? Nothing special, no Oooh or Ahhh, and maybe at the end of the day when the work is almost done, instead of a spare tire or lug wrench, you get a Transmission. Then the next day, it’s install the brake shoes, put the tires on the rims, help all beings. That makes for a Great Vehicle.

Zennier Than Thou

Something I’ve noticed in Zen groups on line, is what Chogyam Trungpa called spiritual materialism. I don’t use that term, it sounds too dignified. I prefer to call it the need to feel superior. Either way, it manifests as “I’m Zennier than you.” I don’t write original content that much, instead I try to help “untie the knots” as Linji would put it. I also tend not to sound particularly Zenny when doing it. I don’t think it’s all that helpful in a social media setting for example, to sound too paradoxical or cryptic, or for that matter, clever.

When I do write, I try to err on the side of the reader being totally new to Zen, until I see that the reader might be a little further along the path, or at least ready for a bit of a challenge. I’m not fond of someone who thinks s/he is smarter or wiser jumping to teaching Z when the person with whom they’re engaging is at B. It becomes doubly troublesome when that person doesn’t have a good grasp on what Z actually is.

“Putting it all down” is perhaps one of Zen’s key teachings—discarding the raft when it’s no longer needed (although I’d add that keeping it around if someone else is floundering in the river, a Bodhisattva lifeguard if you like). Too often we come into contact with someone who has jumped to Z putting down the raft of teachings before they’ve even dunked their toe in the water of the teachings.

Before “liberating” oneself from the constraints of Zen teaching, it’s a good idea to know what the teachings are that you’re liberating yourself from. It may turn out that the teaching has lasted 1,500 years because it works, is valuable, and worth hanging onto. Zen is not a practice of convenience or comfort, it’s challenging. Pick up the Zen gauntlet, accept the challenge, fight with it if you need to. There’s nothing wrong with fighting it if that’s where you are in your practice. There’s nothing wrong with being there, none of us started out as a Patriarch/Matriarch, we all started out by getting our feet wet.

AndI suppose a “Zennier than thou” stage is where some are at in their practice too, and that’s equally OK.

I’ll get off the high seat now. May all beings be at ease, see their True Buddha Nature, and be liberated.  

🙏🙏🏼🙏🏻🙏🏿🙏🏾📿

Case 14: Falling Leaves

A monk was wandering down a path and came upon the Master, who was poking at the earth with a stick.

The young monk spoke first. “Master, I don’t know if I should stay at the temple anymore. I just can’t bring myself to believe the rebirth is true.”

The Master continued to poke at the ground.

“If there is no self, what comes back? How could someone come back as a hell-being if there is no hell to be in? How could my mother come back as a worm? I just don’t believe it. I’m sorry.”

The Master poked at the ground some more, then looked up a the monk.

“Young monk, you ask some very interesting questions. Let me ask you one: what have I taught about birth and death?”

“That there is no birth and no death.”

“You are half right. I also teach there is birth and death, and we should spend our time wisely between them. Which is correct? Birth or no-birth?”

The young monk looked on quizzically.

“The Buddha said all beings are no-beings, and that anyone who refers to himself as a Bodhisattva is not a Bodhisattva. But what do we recite every day?”

“Er, the Bodhisattva Vows?”

“Yes. So are we fools and showing our ignorance by vowing to save all sentient beings? And if there are no bings, how may they be numberless?”

“I don’t know.”

“Good answer.”

“But Master, that still doesn’t convince me that rebirth is true!”

The Master regarded the young monk with a raised eyebrow.

“Young monk, do you see this maple leaf?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Now do you see this pile next to it?”

“Yes.”

“What do you think it is?”

“Well, it looks like it’s bits of leaves that have dried up and crumbled.”

“Were those crumbled things leaves? Are they leaves now?”

“They were, but aren’t anymore.”

“When did the leaves cease to be leaves?”

The young monk thought for a minute, but couldn’t answer.

“Now the crumbled bits of former leaves, do they stay as crumbled leaves forever?”

“No, they become mulch and compost and part of soil, I suppose.”

“Very good young monk. Now, consider this maple tree. Is it alive?”

“Yes, as much as a tree is alive.”

“Does it grow in the air, all branches and no roots? Are the leaves on the tree alive, and when they fall off, are they dead? At what point does the fallen leaf go from alive to dead? What line divides leaf to crumbled leaf to compost to soil to tree root.”

The Master pulled a loose root from the ground.

“Young monk, do you see these tiny hairs on this root? Do you see the bits of dirt hanging from the hairs? Do you suppose that a live leaf turns into a dead leaf, then compost, then soil, and then only ever becomes a tree?”

“I can see where you’re headed, Master, none of this is still convincing me that I will be reborn as a Deva or a Hungry Ghost, or a woman or a worm.”

“Young monk, I have one final thing to say to you.”

The Master stood straight up and leaned close to the young monk, then shouted directly into the monk’s face:

“WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU ARE MORE SPECIAL THAN THAT LEAF?”

The young monk walked away hanging his head.

1. Are you more special than a leaf?
2. What is rebirth?
   
   
   

The Sutra to the Kalamericans

The Kalamericans Go to See the Teacher

Thus have I seen on YouTube:

A great speaker, a great wise Teacher was to give a TED talk from the city of the many universities. Word spread of this, and tickets to the event were very difficult to obtain, such was the excitement generated by his appearance. He was known as a great Teacher of all from young to old, to all genders, able to heal political wounds, crosser of chasms beings had self-imposed. His wisdom was said to be all pervasive, his teachings good from start to finish, and able to be understood by all. With skillful means he could explain his teachings to all, regardless of his or her capacity, each able to understand as if it were only they who were being taught.

Many who came to see him waited outside the stage door, some taking selfies, some asking for autographs, some calling out their names, some silent with awe. They then all proceeded single-file through the metal detectors at the main entrance to the theater.

The Kalamericans ask for guidance from the Teacher

Before the formal talk was to begin, the audience members spoke of others who had come to offer talks, what they’d seen on other TED talks, either in person or on the internet, things that had been attributed to the Teacher others posted on social media, some genuine teachings, some not, and virtually all stripped of context, short sound bites shown on the various news sources the people had come to rely upon for their information, and what had been written about the Teacher on blogs of many types. Some felt compelled to explain their own beliefs and doctrines or the opinions of what they believed to be the doctrine of the Teacher, some thought it appropriate to complain about other Teachers, or about the doctrines that others followed, including those of their fellow audience members. Being unable to reach any consensus whatsoever, they asked the Teacher to give his answers as to what the correct teachings were, who the reliable sources of true teachings were, where to learn about the truth, and what sources to avoid, those sources they reviled as “fake.”

Before the audience descended into pure chaos, with each attempting to prove the validity of their own beliefs by speaking louder and louder, the Teacher quieted the crowd by offering calming gestures and with his seemingly irrepressible smile. He then spoke to the assembled listeners:

"It is proper for you to doubt, to be uncertain; uncertainty has arisen in you about what you find dubious. Do not go upon what has been acquired by repeated hearing; repeating something enough times does not make it true. Do not rely solely upon tradition; nor upon rumor; nor upon what is in a scripture; nor upon soundbite; nor upon an axiom; nor upon conventional wisdom; nor upon a bias towards a notion that someone else has, nor upon another's apparent fame or talmt; not on what you read on Twitter, not on Facebook, not on Politico, not from Fox News, not from MSNBC or CNN, proclaiming, ‘This guy tells it like it is,’ because someone told you how to think it is, or that it validates what you’ve come to think from your exposure to all the media and from other who share your point of view, avoiding those who do not, eschewing the company of those with whom you presuppose you don’t agree. But yourselves know: 'These things are bad; these things are troubling; these things are censured by the wise, these things lead to harm and ill.’ So, abandon them. Abandon them!”

Greed, hate, and delusion

“What do you think,my friends? Does greed appear in a man for his benefit or harm?"

The audience was divided on this point. The Teacher continued, somewhat perplexed, but not entirely surprised due to his talent to read a crowd as if he possessed an omniscient eye.

“Overtaken by his greediness, he may kill, may steal even from those who have less, tell lies, and commit adultery. Then he tries to get others to do the same. How do you think this will work out, to his benefit or not?”

“Well, maybe,” from one side of the room, and “Of course! You’d have to be stupid to think that isn’t true,” were the most unified responses the Teacher received. It seemed to the Teacher that the audience had separated, migrating to one side of the room or the other, depending on whom those opinions they agreed with most.

“And what do you think, mis amigos? Does hate appear in a man for his benefit or harm? "My friends,  by hating, he may kill, steal, lie, and commit adultery. How is this going to work out for him?

“Harm, unless he’s right about who he hates.” The audience was more united than previously, but still not totally in agreement.

“What do you think,friends? Does delusion appear in a man for his benefit or harm?"

"For his harm."

“Yeah, delusions are bad.”

“If a person is under the spell of his delusion, he may do all the things you’ve said are harmful, and what may be even worse, he believes his own lies, and doesn’t even see that anything he does is harmful. Is delusion going to help or harm?”

“Harm.”

The assembled seemed to agree on this.

Kalamericans, you yourselves know: "These things are bad; these things are harmful, and lead to problems,"Abandon them!”

The criterion for acceptance

“Kalamericans, do not go upon what has been acquired by repeated hearing; nor upon tradition; nor upon rumor; nor upon what is in a scripture; nor upon guesswork; nor upon an axiom; nor upon conventional wisdom; nor upon a bias towards a notion that has been that’s been over by someone else; nor upon another's apparent fame or talent, nor on what you read on Twitter, nor Facebook, nor Politico, nor from Fox News, not from MSNBC or CNN or saying this politician is our Teacher. “Kalamericans when you yourselves know: 'These things are good; these things are not troubling; these things are praised by the wise; these things will not lead to arrest and prison, these things lead to benefit and happiness,' abide in them. Abide in them!

Absence of greed, hate, and delusion

“What do you think, my friends? Does absence of greed appear in a man for his benefit or harm?"

There was disagreement amongst the audience again.

"Kalamericans, not being greedy, and not killing, not stealing, not cheating on his wife, not telling lies; he prompts another to do likewise. Will that be for his benefit and happiness?"

"Yes, I guess benefit” came from one section of the audience.

“Of course” from the other.

The Teacher raised one eyebrow quizzically and looked over at his assistant Andy, who could only reply with a shrug.

“What do you think, comrades? Does absence of hate appear in a man for his benefit or harm?"
One member of the audience coughed uncomfortably.

"Kalamaericans, being not given to hate, and not doing hateful things, is this beneficial?”

Once more, the Teacher was met with silence.

“What do you think, Kalamericans? Does absence of delusion appear in a man for his benefit or harm?"

"For his benefit!,” coming from all quarters.

The Teacher considered that he may have gotten the crowd back on the path.

“What do you think, Kalamericans? Are these things good or bad?"

“Good, great Teacher."

"Problematic or not problematic?"

"Not problematic,."

"Vilified or praised by the wise?"

"Praised, of course."

"When you think about it, do these things lead to benefit and happiness, or not? what do you think?"

"They lead to benefits and happiness. That's how we see it. In most circumstances.”

“Therefore, what was said is this, 'Come my fellow Kalamericans. Do not go upon what has been acquired by repeated hearing; nor upon tradition; nor upon rumor; nor upon what is in a scripture; nor upon assumption; nor upon an axiom; nor upon specious reasoning; nor upon a bias towards a notion that has been said by someone else; nor upon another's apparent fame or talent; nor on what you read on Twitter, nor Facebook, from Politico, nor from Fox News, not from MSNBC or CNN or saying this politician is our Teacher.

“Let’s have a brief recap. Greed, good or bad?”asked the Teacher.

“Can we get back to you on that?”

“Hate, good or bad?”

In unison, the crowd roared back, “Bad. Except in certain circumstances!”

“Delusion, good or bad?”

“We’re confused, can you use it in a sentence.”

“Killing?”

Again in unison, “Depends!”

“Stealing?”

The crowd caucused amongst themselves, finally coming to the conclusion, “Bad!

The Teacher smiled again.

“Lying?”

"Bad. Mostly. Depends on whether you can get arrested for it?”

The smiled dropped from the Teacher’s lips.

“Okay, how about committing adultery?”

“Bad...but only if you get caught, and if you do, deny it, and then you can pay someone off to keep quiet about it, and if that doesn’t work, deny it again.”

The Teacher glanced at Andy again, and again Andy just shrugged.

“Kalamericans, when you yourselves know: "These things are bad; these things lead to prison; and upon careful consideration in your heart of hearts, these things lead down a dangerous road, you will abandon them!”

The Four Exalted Dwellings

“The righteous, who in this way is devoid of greediness and ill will, seeing the truth clearly, clearly comprehending and mindfully, dwells with the thought of friendship, with the great, exalted, boundless thought that is free of hate or malice for all of humanity throughout the world.”

"He lives with the thought of compassion; he dwells in the world of compassion because it is good for all humanity, everywhere, the entire world, with the great, boundless thought of compassion that is free of hate or malice.”

“I don’t know about this ‘whole world’ stuff" someone yelled from the back of the room. “We come first!” Another chimed in with, “OK, I’ll be compassionate, but I’m not sharing any of my money to do it. And I don’t want anything going to a bunch of bums too lazy to work.”

The other side of the room tried to raise a rousing chorus of “Kumbaya,” but was unable to do so, having both the voices and the nature of a herd cats with a crying shepherd running in many directions.

The Teacher took on the delivery of an old-time country preacher.

“He lives with the thought of love for all people, everywhere, the entire world, with the great, exalted, boundless thought of gladness that is free of hate or malice. He lives with equanimity towards all living beings, everywhere, the entire world, with the great, exalted, boundless thought that is free of hate or malice.”

It was as if the entire audience rolled its collective eye.

The Four comforts

“The Great Student,  Kalamericans, the Great Student who has such a hate-free mind, such a malice-free mind, such an undefiled mind, and such a purified mind, is one by whom comforts are found right here and now.

"'Suppose there is a hereafter and there is a fruit, result, of deeds done well or ill, a heaven or hell. Then it is possible that at the moment of death, I shall arise in the heavenly world, which is possessed of the state of bliss.”

He continued, “Suppose there is no heaven of hell, and there is no fruit, no result, of deeds done well or ill. Yet in this world, here and now, free from hatred, free from malice, safe and happy, can say, “At least I’m good in the here and now.’.

From the crowd came, “I swear to God there’s a heaven, and there’s sure as Hell a hell!”

"'Suppose evil befalls an evil-doer. I, however, think of doing evil to no one. Then, how can it affect me who doesn't do anything evil?' Suppose evil outcomes do not befall an evil-doer. Then I see myself purified in any case.'

“It’s win-win-win-win, no downside, so long as you are hate-free, don’t act with malice and do harmful things to one another. Heaven or hell, no-heaven, no-hell, no matter, you experience the knowledge of a great life right here & now.”

“Hmmmm. Yeah? Really?” murmured the audience. The Teacher with his his omniscient eye regarded them as coming around, albeit slowly. He saw that their desire for freedom from their day-to-day lives hadn’t provided them any freedom, let alone peace.

"The followers of the Great Ones, my Kalamerican friends, who have a generous mind, a  hate-free mind, an undefiled mind, and a purified mind, is one who experiences a wonderful life!” The Teacher saw that their desire for comfort, even from a place of greed and clinging could have a positive result. The crowd pondered momentarily, being presented with ideas that deep-down they knew were right, but were also seemed so far from what their day to day lives were like.

Then they responded surprisingly but with some reservation, “Okay!”

A spokesperson rose from the crowd. “What you say makes sense. A person who has a hate-free mind, an undeluded mind, and such a purified mind, is one by whom, here and now, can have a good life. But it’s not easy, Great Teacher. If we do it, and we’re back in with everyone else, who doesn’t live like this, we’re screwed!” The crowd now muttered in agreement to this statement.

The spokesperson continued, “But we’ll try it. We’ll try to pay attention to your teachings, and we will look to others who also follow them who can give us support when it looks as if we might backslide. Is that good enough? We’re just regular Joes, Joe the Plumber-types, not great spiritual beings, you know? But, what the hell, what have we got to lose? If it works out, that’s great. I think I can speak for all of us, and much to our surprise, your teachings do make sense. It’s like you point the way to someone who is lost or to carry a lamp in the darkness, thinking, 'Those who have eyes will see what there is that’s visible,'

The Teacher replied, “Excellent, excellent, my good friends. Well said, well said. But this teaching, as well as the others you may encounter from repeated hearing; tradition; rumor; what is in a scripture; guesswork; an axiom; conventional wisdom; a bias towards a notion that has been that’s been over by someone else; another's apparent fame or talent, on what you read on Twitter, Facebook, Politico, nor, Fox News, MSNBC, CNN or following politician who ‘tells it like it is, all these things, even what I’ve told you today can only be proven by putting them into action. Don’t take my word for it...but you’ll see it’s correct.”

The crowd gave the Great Teacher a rousing round of applause, even whistling their approval and yelling “Woot, woot.” The Teacher saw as if with an omniscient eye that some would follow the teachings faithfully, others would for a period of time, others would say they’re followers of the Way but their actions would prove otherwise, still others who will disregard the teachings altogether, even disparaging the Teachings. But the Teacher was also aware that these thoughts of the members of the crowd are as subject to change as much as everything else. One who agrees wholeheartedly today may backslide tomorrow, the denier of today may eventually lead a virtuous life. Even with the outcome of his teaching being any of these scenarios, he was still satisfied.

The Teacher and Andy packed their few belongings and prepared to leave the building through the stage door. As they did, they both heard a member of his audience say, “Now if only the other half of this crowd weren’t so stupid and agreed with this great teaching!”

The Teacher smiled at Andy, Andy smiled quizzically back. Andy said, “Teacher, they still don’t seem to get it.” The Teacher replied, “We’ll see how their actions speak, either because of or in spite of their words. They are Kalamericans, and their minds are changing, changing, changing.”

Andy nodded in agreement, despite his desire to smack some of the audience in the head. As a faithful follower of the Teacher, the Teachings, and who found support in followers of the Teachings, he refrained from shaking any of the audience members.

Thus have I seen on YouTube.

Swinging on the Gate

My teacher and I have been working on Kong-ans for a few years, some centuries old, some more modern. A couple months ago, he threw me a curve ball. Rather than using other peoples’  writings and dialogues, he told me to come up with some of my own. In no particular order, here are a few of them. You can answer if you like. But they’re between you and your teacher. How do you swing on a gateless gate?

Case 7: Milking the Bull

An old monk and a young monk were in the pasture tending the cattle. It had been grey and rainy all day, and suddenly the sun broke through the clouds, and a sunbeam shone directly onto the young monk’s face, almost blinding him.
He exclaimed to the old monk, “Master! I have had my great revelation, my great awakening!”

The old monk yawned, and kept watching the cattle. Wide-eyed, the young monk exclaimed again, “Master, did you not hear me? I’ve had my great awakening! I’ve seen the nature of all things! All things in the universe are one!”

The old monk yawned again, barely turned his head, spat out a piece of straw, and said to the young monk, “Oh, very good, very good. Now go milk the bull.”

Shortly thereafter, the young monk had a great awakening.

1. What does the sun breaking through the clouds mean?
2. Why did the old monk tell the young monk to milk a bull?
3. Which of the young monk’s awakenings was correct?

~~~~~~~~~~~

Case 10: Not Three

The midday meal was finished, and all the monks were returning to the kitchen to wash their bowls. One young monk stayed at his spot just staring. Another monk came over to him, and started to admonish him for his staying seated while the others were ready to start the work practice. 

The young monk stopped him, saying, “You are right to scold me, brother. I don’t belong here. I fall asleep when all the others are meditating strongly, when the others go to sleep, I’m wide awake with thoughts spinning in my head. I don’t understand when the Master says, ‘Not, one, not two.’ How have you stayed so long?”
“You are making big trouble, young monk. Why do you think that is? Why are you here?”

The young monk was surprised, having expected the old monk to console him. “If you can explain one thing to me, I’ll stay,” he said.
“Come with me,” and they walked outside into the snow. The old monk went up ahead a little bit, stooped down quickly, then turned and quickly fired a snowball. “That’s not one, not two. Do you understand?”
The young monk made a snowball and hit the old man squarely in the face.
The old monk exclaimed. “Ah, you do understand! Now get inside and get to work or the others will hit you with more than snow!”

1. What did the young monk understand?
2. Is the snowball one or two?
3. How many snowflakes are there in a snowball?

~~~~~~~~~~

Case 12: Who Transmits the Robe and Bowl?

The young monk came running down the hall, skidding as he caught up with his teacher. “Master, you must be so proud! You have just received Dharma transmission. That’s wonderful! Does it make you happy?”

The Master raised one eyebrow and said, “I am happy.”

The student somewhat quizzically asked, “But you don’t look happy. You look like you always do.”

The Master lowered his eyebrow and stated, “I am sad.”

“But Master, you have been transmitted the robe and bowl! Surely you must be happy.”

The Master raised his eyebrow again and said, “Monk, I am going into the bathroom now so I can use my robe and bowl...my head needs shaving.” 

The young monk stood there and raised both eyebrows as the Master walked briskly away. .

1. What does a raised eyebrow mean?
2. Was the Master happy or sad?
3. How did the Master use the robe and bowl?

Fears Exist

The Heart Sutra contains the lines, “...The Bodhisattva depends on Prajnaparamita and the mind is no hindrance. Without any hindrance no fears exist…” Rather than as some intellectual concept  that is to be learned, does that have any real application to real life as we live it? Obviously, there is fear. People are afraid because of some imminent threat or a projection of a threat that is in the future, and therefore hasn’t happened, isn’t happening at this moment, and possibly won’t happen. It’s one type of fear when there’s a hungry-looking tiger in front of you and you’re wearing a suit made out of steak. It’s a different type of fear to think, “Maybe this isn’t a good day to wear a suit made of steak, because it might attract hungry tigers.” Both of those are good sense, based in the reality of the moment, because you’ve heard of other people’s experience that tigers do attack and eat people, tigers like steak, ergo, this may not be a good combination of steak suit and tiger, and backing away from said tiger would probably be a good way not to be eaten. The second type is based on others’ experience much like the first, but while a projection, it’s not unreasonable to think that learning from others’ mistakes might be a good way not to make the same mistake. 

Sometimes “learning from others’ mistakes” is classified as ‘wisdom,” but I think that stretches that definition far beyond what I’d say is just common sense. Perhaps “wisdom” might be earned by looking at Lady Gaga’s meat dress idea, and saying to yourself that tigers or no tigers, that wearing a suit made of steak was just a plain old garden variety bad idea, never was a good idea, and in a very small number of cases will never be a good idea, unless attracting hungry tigers is your aim. I can’t imagine where that would be a reasonable aim, but I’m not so bold as to think it’s beyond the realm of possibility. Likewise, it wouldn’t have crossed my mind to wear a meat dress to an awards show, and not just because I don’t have the legs for it. If people were looking at my legs when I was wearing a meat dress, I would be reasonable to think that a parallel universe had been entered where meat-based clothing was the norm. But then there’s that other kind of fear, the fear that is a hindrance. In this case, it might be that you’re convinced that wearing a meat dress even with your legs is a good idea, but the start second-guessing it as soon as you are ready to go on stage.

This type of fear could also be called worry. If the fear is based in how others might perceive you, and what in turn they’ll think of you, and how they’ll treat you, and what they’ll say behind your back, then that is worry. While the “imminent threat” type of fear may only rarely come up, and the notion that if you do A, then B might be a reasonable result, while that may be fortune-telling, it’s not fact-based, if not in this particular moment factual. If you think that not drinking to excess might lead to drunk driving, which in turn might lead to a ticket, arrest, loss of driving privilege, and worse yet, getting involved in a accident and getting injured, even worse than that, that someone else might be who gets injured, then the foresight that not drinking and driving would lead to a better outcome than the possibilities that drinking and driving might lead to is a pretty good analysis of potential future situations. I’m not sure that it’s anything that I’d spend much time meditating on, because one would hope that I’m not contemplating going on a bender after I leave the cushion. But that may be a viable focus point to others, so I won’t discount it.

I've live with someone who is spending a lot of time crossing from legitimate “this could kill me fear” to “what if” worry a lot lately. It's a situation that deserves as much concern as can be applied to it, in fact. To briefly recap my partner’s health issues over the last 18 months or so, first was the breast cancer, followed by radiation, which may have contributed to her pneumonia during the fall and winter of that year. Not just pneumonia, but COP: cryptogenic organizing pneumonia. The key word there is “cryptogenic,” as in, “Well, it's not bacterial, because antibiotics aren't doing anything. And it's not a virus either. We don't know what it is, but we do know it's pneumonia, so we'll give it an important-sounding disease name that sounds a lot more important than ‘we don't know what in hell it is.” That was treated with over a year of Prednisone.

A follow-up X-ray revealed a neuroendocrine tumor or her pancreas, which was successfully removed, but with about half her pancreas being removed with the tumor.  Somewhere between that and the year of meds, we ended up in the ER one day to find out that not only did she have diabetes, but she also had a small stroke. There was an old MRI which when compared to a new one, corfirmed the stroke. Another week or two go by, trying to figure out the lancets, test strips, and the glucometer, and something was not quite right again. Back to the ER, admitted again, another MRI, and there was evidence of a second stroke. Her vision was affected by the strokes, but none of her motor skills. The dizziness seems to have abated. She's on a slew of medications now, dealing with everything from the breast cancer to the diabetes to the stroke. 

And here's the rub--there is copious worrying about a recurrence of pneumonia, whether the Prednisone had anything to do with that and/or the diabetes, and what she'd be treated with if she had another bout of pneumonia. To me, two strokes in a month was the lurking hungry tiger, the specter of pneumonia and the meds were in the back of the bus. Her daughter’s well-meaning but potentially misplaced concern about hiring a cook for the diabetes, finding a new pulmonologist for the pneumonia recurrence which hasn't happened, to needing to find a different doctor to deal with the brain-based vision issues, has only fed my partner’s feelings of concern. We've got a tiger right here in the kitchen, and as much energy is spent worrying about the potential other tiger that isn't here yet and she's not wearing a meat dress. 

One of the hindrances to Awakening is what I translate as “worry.” Sometimes it's said to be “doubt,” but I think that is a miss. I'd even throw “second-guessing” as an alternate. It's that type of fear that's not only based in projection, but a paralyzing racing-thought type of fear. The challenge is to help keep her from getting too stressed out by just talking to her daughter and others. My middle-type fear is that her getting too wound up is probably not a good thing for someone who has had two strokes. I can't say for sure that will lead to another stroke, but not poking that tiger seems reasonable. Where it gets tricky, requiring real observation, analyzing situations as they arise, and not compounding what's already tenuous, is how to do this with compassion. Inside my head there's a little voice saying, “Enough with the pneumonia! You've had two strokes!” What comes out my mouth has to have a touch more finesse than that. 

But how about this “no fears exist” part? The part where the Bodhisattva relies on what creates no hindrance, and with no hindrance, comes no fear. The practice of Zen is to accept what reality is. The reality is that as of  today, she has diabetes, but pays attention to her diet and takes her meds, and so far as we’re aware it’s under control. Acknowledging that there is a history of health issues, and that they may return or that others may yet come, that’s also reality. A sense of mortality for her is probably very different for her than it is for me, and regardless of how accurate either of our thoughts about it are, that’s reality. Reality also includes that sometimes there will be worry about it, and fear. 

Being able to face all these facets of reality, just facing them, acknowledging them, just dealing with feeling them when they’re there, letting them change into the next feeling, letting the next element of reality come along, acknowledging that it’s here and going to go, even when that means it might be even more unpleasant when this reality moves into the next unfolding reality, and facing that head on, that’s fearless. That’s looking the tiger in the eye without hindrance. For this moment, no fears exist, and when we next feel fear, we’re not afraid of fear.